(no longer) The Northernmost Jew

(Taken from the government handbook and website)
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Who is Eligible to Participate?
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If you are a permanent resident of a village within a subsistence harvest area, you will be eligible to harvest migratory birds and their eggs for subsistence purposes in the spring and summer.
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Required Licenses and Stamps
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Eligible subsistence users must possess and comply with any licenses or stamps required by Federal and State regulations when participating in the subsistence spring/summer migratory bird harvest. All waterfowl hunters 16 years or older are required to have a current State and Federal Migratory Bird Hunting Stamp ($15.00). Hunters 60 years or older and those that qualify for a low income license are not required to have a State stamp. Federal stamps are available at most post offices, National Wildlife Refuge offices, and some stores; or may be purchased by calling: 1-800-852-4897 or online at http://www.duckstamp.com State stamps are available from most State license vendors, ADF&G offices or online at: http://www.admin.adfg.state.ak.us/license Both Federal and State stamps must be signed in ink across the face and must be carried at all times while hunting waterfowl and are not required for hunting non-waterfowl species.
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Use and Possession of Migratory Birds
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You may not sell, offer for sale, purchase, or offer to purchase migratory birds, their parts, or eggs.
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Eligible persons - You may take birds for human consumption only. Harvest and possession of migratory birds must be done using nonwasteful taking. Nonedible byproducts of birds taken for food may be used for other purposes, except that taxidermy is not allowed.
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Noneligible persons - You may receive portions of birds or their eggs not kept for human consumption from eligible persons only if you have a valid U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service permit for scientific research or education.
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Prohibited Harvest Methods and Means
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You may not use the following devices and methods to harvest migratory birds:

• Swivel guns, shotguns larger than 10 gauge, punt guns, battery guns, machine guns, fish hooks, poisons, drugs, explosives, or stupefying substances
• Shooting from a sinkbox or low-floating device that conceals the hunter beneath the surface of the water
• Hunting from any type of aircraft
• Using live birds as decoys, except for auklets on Diomede and St. Lawrence islands
• Hunting with the aid of recorded bird calls
• Using any type of vehicle, aircraft, or boat to concentrate, drive, rally, or stir up any migratory birds, except boats may be used to position a hunter
• The possession or use of lead or other toxic shot while hunting all migratory birds
• Shooting while on or across any road or highway
• Using an air boat (Interior & Bristol Bay Regions only) or jet ski (Interior Region only) for hunting or transporting hunters
• Using private or chartered aircraft for hunting or transporting hunters, except for transportation between public airstrips (Yukon/Kuskokwim Region Only)

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For a list of the 92 birds you may hunt, go to http://alaska.fws.gov/ambcc/Regs%20-%2004%20pages/04%20Regs%20Birdlist.htm

For a list of the 6 birds you may not hunt ot gather eggs from, as well as the 2 you may hunt, but may not gather eggs from, go to http://alaska.fws.gov/ambcc/Regs%20-%2004%20pages/04%20Regs%20Closed%20List.htm

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Hunting season varies by region. For the Northwest Arctic Region:

• April 2- August 31 (hunting - in general)
• May 20 - June 9 for waterfowl egg gathering
• July 3 - July 12 for seabird egg gathering
• July 1 - July 31 for harvest of molting/non-nesting waterfowl

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For more information, go to:http://alaska.fws.gov/ambcc/regulations.htm

Proposal Form to Change Regulations: http://alaska.fws.gov/ambcc/Regs%20-%2004%20pages/Proposal%20Form_CY07.pdf

I never realized that locks freeze. Mine does, and then I can not open it without a long struggle. I got something to spray into the lock to melt it, but it does not work well.

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update to entry 158: Some guys put some ice in my water tank, so I have more of a supply. Also, someone (I'm not sure who) delivered 32 pints of bottled water. (Thank you!!)
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update to entry 151: The seder with Chabad of Anchorage was very nice. A larger ratio of food time to services time than I am used to. The food was great!
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update to entry 138: The carbon monoxide detector I got never went off, so I assume I am not being poisoned. My heater still makes lots of noise though. sometimes it squeals, sometimes it clunks, sometimes it rattles, and sometimes it squeals and clunks. It makes it hard to sleep. Also, sometimes when it changes noises it wakes me up.
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update to entry 119: see picture
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update to entry 100: Someone in my internet chat group figured out how to get e using 4 4s. See graphic.
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update to entry 96: In Anchorage, Max got a shortish haircut, but not that short. It has all grown back, and he is back to being shaggy. (There is no groomer here.) He is really cute! See picture.
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update to entry 95: I got televsion about a month ago. I started the process when I got here. It took some time to get the paperwork done, because the offces in Anchorage aren't that organized. Then they were backordered, and it took a while for them to get the dish mailed out, which they did in the middle of December. Once it was sent out, I kept waiting for it and never received it. I finally called andd was told that the dish was sitting around in Kotzebue. Micro-Com just sends the dish to Kotzebue, and then you have to make the arrangements for it to be shipped the rest of the way, something they neglected to tell me. I made the arrangements, and received the dish sometme n February. At that time of year it is too cold here or someone to spend hours on my roof installing the dish and trying to turn it to get the signal. I finally got someone to put up th dish in the middle of March.
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update to entry 65: Making rock candy with my science classes did not work well. Most of them didn't get hard, but just kind of became a mushy mess.
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update to entry 32: The teacher store with the stuffed germs & stuff added more to their lineup. You can now get stuffed Salmonella typhimurium (causes salmonella), Escherichia coli bacterium (causes E-Coli), Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (causes mad cow), Poliovirus (causes polio), Mycobacterium tuberculosis (causes tuberculosis), Giardia lamblia (causes giardia), Pediculus capitis (louse), Propionibacterium (causes pimples), Neisseria gonorrhea (causes gnorrhea), Treponema pallidum (causes syphilis), Rhinovirus (causes the common cold), Orthomyoxvirus (causes the flu), Streptococcus (causes strep throat), Shigella (causes stomach aches), Helicobater pylori (causes ulcers), Trichophyton mentagrophytes (causes athlete's foot), Saccharomyces cerevisiae (bread yeast), Ebola virus (causes ebola), Epstein-Barr (causes mono), Yersinia pestis (causes the plague), Porphorymonas gingivalis (causes bad breath), Cimex lectularius (bedbugs), Anobium punctatum (bookworms), Dermatophagoides pteronyssinus (dust mites), Trypanosoma brucei (causes sleeping sickness, whatever that is), Bordetella pertussis (causes whooping cough), Streptococcus pneumoniae (causes earaches), Necrotizing fasciitis streptococcus pyogenes (flesh eating bacteria), Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV which causes AIDS), Heptitis C virus (causes hepatitus). The attached pictures are (go across) ebola, flesh eating bacteria, sleeping sickness, dust mite, ulcer, HIV.

We are all out of water.

The way the water works is that everyone has a tank in their house. Thee is a pump that pumps water from the tank. When you run out of water you call the city and order a water delivery.

Except that we are out of water.

What most people are doing is getting blocks of ice from the river and bringing it back by snow-machine to put in their water tanks. The problem is, I don't have a snow-machine. I have been scooping snow from outside to fill my tank but it takes an awful lot of snow to make a little water.

The school put honeybuckets in the bathrooms. I don't know how often they are emptied.

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A number of people have asked me if I've seen Northern Exposure, a television show that was on from 1990 - 1995. The main premise is that Joel, a Jewish guy from New York City, needed a scholarship for medical school. The only scholarship that came through required him to work in Alaska for four years after becoming a doctor. He had figured on being assigned to Anchorage, but instead he ends up in a small town called Cicely (which does not really exist). I had seen a few episodes years ago, but did not remember much, so I got the first DVD (with only two episodes) from Netflix.

If you are familiar with the show, this is how Cicely and Deering compare. Deering is much smaller. It is also more remote (which is obvious since Joel takes a bus to Cicely from Anchorage). Deering is much colder, which makes sense since it is much farther north (Some people on Northern Exposure bathe in the lake which does not freeze over in the winter. The river here is frozen most of the year.) Cicely allows alcohol. (I am not sure what percent of small villages are "dry".) Deering has a bigger library than Cicely does.
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If there was a school in Cicely, they did not show it in the first two episodes.
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One way I can really sympathize with Joel. He gets frustrated when things don't work right, like his plumbing. People around him assume you just fix things as they go wrong, while Joel has always called in a professional.

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There is a famous photograph from June 1972 of a girl in South Vietnam naked, running from a napalm attack. I can't imagine anyone, even a war photographer, stopping there at that moment to take a picture.
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You think there is anyone who did NOT die in 9-11 who is letting all their previous acquaintances think they died and is using the opportunity to disappear?

Waah!!

This weekend is the Mensa Mind Games competition. Some games in the store have a gold "Mensa Select" seal on them. Mensa selects five games every year to have this seal. The Mind Games event is where a group gets together and they decide which games. I have joined the group in the past. It is a lot of fun. This weekend it is in Portland. Murphy's Law must have decided that it would be in Portland the first year that I am not in Portland.

On the little planes that come here, the pilots do a lot. They open the door to the plane for the passengers, they make sure the right people are on the plane, they help passengers put their luggage on the plane, they unload the cargo, etc. The little door that the passengers use to come in and out has to be opened from the outside. After landing, the pilot exits through a door next to his/her seat and climbs out on to the wing so he/she can open the door for the passengers. The people get on the plane and the pilot closes the flap and then climbs in the plane. Here are some pictures, featuring Jeremy, a pilot with Frontier Air.

The Palestinians elected leaders from Hamas; the U.S., Canada and Israel are cutting off aid; and the Palestinians are complaining that this violates their rights. Since when are handouts a right? And how can a group expect aid from a group they are trying to destroy?

(Printed in today's Anchorage Daily News)

Someone asked me if I miss driving. Actually, I don't. I miss the places I'd drive to, but I do not miss the driving at all. Waiting for lights, dealing with traffic, whatever. It is pretty relaxing to not have to do it.

Chag HaAviv? It is snowing here!

I am off to Anchorage. I will join Chabad tonight.

Pesach recomendation - The Chocolate Lady’s 2006 Vegetarian Peysekh Survival Guide
http://inmolaraan.blogspot.com/2006/04/chocolate-ladys-2006-vegetarian.html

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A few Pesach jokes for you:

.....A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, "what did you learn today?"
.....He answered, "The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt."
....."How?"
.....The boy said "Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharoah up. Then while he was down, he got all the people together and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge. Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross."
.....The father was shocked. "Is that what the Rabbi taught you?"
....The boy replied, "No. But you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!"

.....Yoseph is an advisor to the king some time during the middle ages.
.....One summer afternoon the king calls him in. "I'm sorry," the king says, "I value your service, but I just can not have a Jewish advisor. I am getting too much pressure. You have to convert and become a Christian." Yoseph is unhappy about this, but accept. Sadly, he goes home to tell him wife, who is unhappy, but goes along with his descision.
....Yoseph (now Joseph) is unhappy about his descision, and struggles with his conscience for a few months. Finally, in the end of the winter he goes to see the king. "I'm sorry, your highness." he says. "I've tried, but I just can't live this way. I have to resume being Jewish."
.....The king nods. "OK, I will have to deal with that."
.....Relieved, Yoseph goes home to tell his wife. "You idiot!" she yells. "You did the right thing, but couldn't you have waited until after Pesach?"

.....Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.
.....Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:"You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news.
....."Moses was staggered. The voice continued:"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs"
....."You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust."
....."You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."
.....Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"
....."You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."

When the powers-that-were instituted daylight-saving time, I doubt they pictured everyone rummaging through drawers to find the directions to reset their wall clocks, clock radios, watches, VCRs, cell phones, fax machines, computers, dashboards, answering machines, palm pilots, television sets, cameras, BlackBerrys, microwaves, etc.

printed in today's Anchorage Daily News

(I ended it with "..." which they changed to "etc." I like it better my way)