Tuesday, December 23, 2008

270. LONG LIVE SNOWZILLA!!!!

Anchorage resident Billy Powers used to build a 16 ft snowman in his front yard, nicknamed “Snowzilla”, every year. His reputation spread internationally. News crews came from Russia and Japan. Unfortunately, poop-head neighbors complained. The city decided that the extra traffic was a nuisance, and Snowzilla himself was “unsafe”. Snowzilla was destroyed.

You’d think the tale would end there. But anonymous people came during the night and rebuilt him, now 25 feet tall. As of now, the new Snowzilla stands. Neighbors in the area signed a pro-Snowzilla petition.
































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Here is an editorial from our paper:

Public Enemy Number One: Snowzilla, the Giant Snowman

By Dan Fagan, posted on December 22, 2008

I don’t know about you, but I can rest easier now knowing my government is at work, using tax dollars to make our streets safe. For far too long Snowzilla, the giant snowman, has wreaked havoc and terror on the streets of Anchorage.

Now this despot of society has been neutralized and will no longer be able to hurt anyone. Anchorage code enforcement officers, the city bureaucrats who are the real heroes of our city, have put an end to Snowzilla.

For several years now the 16-foot-tall Snowzilla has stood tall in Airport Heights, striking fear in the hearts of men and children alike. But the end of Snowzilla is a perfect illustration of why we pay taxes. So city bureaucrats can justify their positions by destroying snowmen.

Some cranky, scrooge-like neighbors have complained about the extra traffic brought into their neighborhood after families all over Southcentral traveled to show their kids Snowzilla during the holidays. Our city bureaucrats with the full force of government behind them got behind the cranky neighbors and made sure no more Snowzilla for the kids--a trip that has become a family tradition for some. City code enforcement officials declared Snowzilla a public nuisance and safety hazard.

Snowzilla is big and if he were to lose his temper, there is no telling what could happen. Maybe he would kidnap Fay Raye, climb to the top of the Atwood building and fight off small airplanes.

Yes, it is a good thing the city issued a cease and desist order to the family that built Snowzilla. We are all the safer for it.

The city bureaucrats were clever in their quest to destroy Snowzilla. At first they placed signs at his feet (or where his feet would be if he were not a snowman) ordering him to cease and desist himself. But since Snowzilla doesn’t understand government bureaucrat-speak (who else says cease and desist) city officials tacked a public notice on the door of the family that created Snowzilla.

The Powers family had been building Snowzilla in their front yard since 2005. "The kids had spent hours and hours of work on it," Billy Powers said on Sunday. Now Snowzilla is just a big pile of snow rubble. Powers said he doesn't plan to rebuild. If he does rebuild, city bureaucrats will come and arrest him.

That’s right, you read that correctly, the city is threatening to arrest an Anchorage father if he builds a snowman for his kids.

Welcome to the nanny state.

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This picture is of a protester outside City Hall




















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The general opinion amoung Anchoragians is that Snowzilla is no more of a nuisance than the houses that put up fancy Christmas lights displays that some people drive by to see. (And he uses no electricity!)

If you would like to get involved, there is a website to raise money for the legal defense of Billy Powers.

http://www.snowzilla.org/








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Here's an idea - Lots of talk-show hosts are quick to protest whenever there is any objection to any Christmas displays. Maybe Snowzilla should hold a string of Christmas lights.

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If you want to see Snowzilla, he is at 1556 Columbine St, between 15th and 16th. But don't go. Apparently it is annoying the city.

Friday, December 19, 2008

269. Guess how many airline seats are still available as of nighttime on December 18 to fly from Alaska to the contiguous 48 in time for Christmas?

zero

The newspaper recommends that if you are desperate you can drive to the Yukon (Canada) and try to get a flight from there.

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