(no longer) The Northernmost Jew

The Anchorage Press runs a haiku contest every year. I did not win :-( . Here are some of the winners I liked:

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One catagory thay had was on the PDF:

Plasma screen TV
Brand new refrigerator
Glad we have eight kids

- Jason Brandeis (who doesn't really have any kids)

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Another category was on Susan Butcher:

Thousand cold miles
yet sleds couldn't deliver
a cancer vaccine

- Matt Miller

a lonely dog howls
where is my owner at now?
mushing aurora

- Wes Schacht

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One category was "Stupid Tourist Question":

At the airport the
tourists wonder: How long has
Ted Stevens been dead?

- Rick Sinnott
(Anchorage's airport is "Ted Stephens International Airport", although Stephens is not dead yet.)

I entered this category, but did not win. Mine:

Pulls out his wallet
Confused, asks "Do you take A-
Merican money?"

Looks up at the sky,
frowns, then asks "When do you turn
On the Northern Lights?"

(According to the paper, a lot of people wrote ones about when or how we turn on the Northern Lights. Another question a few people wrote about was someone asking what their elevation was right at the ocean shore.)

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Winning haiku about gangs in Alaska:

Pants below your waist
And snow banks over your knees
Hard to be cool - Bro!

- Christopher Waalkes

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One category was "Alaska Girls". The winner and the 2nd place had different takes:

My girls in winter
Eat fresh snow from their mittens
And smell like damp wool

- Mara Severin, whose daughters are 5 and 1

A-town girls at dawn
Who else wears micro-minis
When it's eight below?

- Andrea Graves

Barrow, the northernmost point of North America, had sunrise today at 12:47 pm and sunset at 1:33 pm. The sun will rise next on January 24.

There is a movie coming out in about a year called "30 days of Night" based on the comic book series by the same name. It is about a group of vampires that move to Barrow and terrorize the town.

A few years ago, in the fall, some radio announcer in Fairbanks made an announcement reminding people to go get the air changed in their tires. He said they needed to remove the summer air and put in winter air, or the pressure would be wrong. Car service places reported that people actually did come in to get the air changed in their tires.

I almost hit a moose while driving. If a moose is going to wander around in the middle of DeBarr Rd. (busy road!) he really should wear reflectors.