(no longer) The Northernmost Jew

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Making photocopies in Deering –
..Go to the photocopy machine (sort of an outdated, not the best machine), put in the papers to copy, press the correct buttons, wait a minute while the machine makes the copies, take the copies, leave.
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Making photocopies in Portland –
..See if the machine is working (an expensive state-of-the-art machine).
……If so, check out all the teachers ahead of you to use the machine, and ask who is last in line. Wait for all of those of them to finish, and hope that the machine will still be working by the time it is your turn. Also hope that the bell does not ring, forcing you to leave without getting anything done. Make small talk with the other teachers waiting. Reread the stuff posted on the walls and vow to find something new to put up. When your turn comes, put the papers to copy in the machine, push the correct buttons, and wait while the machine makes the copies. Pull out the originals that are misfed and try again. Read the instructions on the machine’s screen to remove the copies that are caught. Follow the instructions by opening door A, flipping lever B behind door A so you can remove rack C (careful, it’s hot!) take out the crumpled copies without getting ink on you, replace rack C, flip lever B back, pull out tray D and flip open lid E to remove the copies the machine insists are there even though they aren’t, close lid E, push back tray D, close door A, open section F by lifting top G and reordering the originals there. Wonder what will happen when there are more than 26 parts you need to deal with. Try again until you have enough copies.
……If the machine is not working, call the office to let them know, in case they do not yet know. Have the secretary tell you how many people have already called. Get her WAG as to when it will be fixed. Come back another time and start over.