(no longer) The Northernmost Jew

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There is a problem with the phone system here; we cannot make long distance phone calls (although we can receive them). That means the store cannot accept credit or debit cards because that gizmo uses the phone lines. So in order to buy anything at the store you must use cash or a check. Well, I am out of cash because I didn’t worry about having cash since the only place you pay for anything is at the store and I’ve just been using my debit card. The only way to get cash here is to get cash back when using your debit card at the store. I am out of checks and need to order more from the bank. The first time you order checks from the bank with a new address you can’t just order off the internet, you need to actually talk to a person. Since there is no bank here, I need to do it by phone. But I can’t call the bank because there is a problem with the phone system.
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OK, Imma, I’m sorry, you taught me to always have cash. I’ll be more careful in the future. Promise.